The Trot

I braved a race for the first time since the Chicago Marathon in 2009. 2010 hasn't exactly been a good running year for me. I've run here and there. Kind of sporatically, and without any goal in mind except going for the "high" of finishing a good run. I don't think I have ever been more thankful for running more than this year. I have always taken for granted the fact I love to run, and can pretty much set my mind to any distance of a race and do it. My body has held up, and allowed me to push it. All that changed this year. I was forced to put the thing I love and makes me "me" on the backburner. Well....this past Thursday I moved it from the back to the front burner and ran an 8 mile race. The longest I've done this year. I was nervous to push myself too much, and risk throwing my body back into "symptom hell", but I also knew I had to do it. Had to see if I could. I have not felt like I had much control over my body physically, and that has been really hard. For the first time in all my running I doubted the physical ability of my legs and body more than the psychological part of it. The psychological part of it is a challenge for any runner.

Grace and Drew came with me to cheer me on. Grace grabbed my hand before we were about to walk to the start and told me she wanted to write something on my hand. She gave me my hand back, and the picture above is what it said. Almost melted me into a puddle at the foot of the car. My sweet Grace. Although she doesn't know all the details of this year, all the doctors, and tests, and tears, and medical mumbo-jumbo we have had to decipher and navigate through, she absolutely knows this year has been a tough one for mommy. So, we headed to the start and when that horn blew.......I ran. I ran and I ran. I ran to try and grab back some of that control that had been gone. It was by far one of the best races I have ever run. I originally wasn't going for time, but then realized after I finally got away from all the walkers, Starbuck drinkers, strollers, and dogs that I was ahead of my normal pace. I felt amazing the whole time. And I can't even begin to tell you how much joy that brings to my soul. I didn't once feel like I couldn't do it. I just put on my tunes, and ran. And I looked down at the hand of mine so many times. God truly has blessed me in so many ways. Through the storm comes the sun, and that day even though it was overcast and cold, the sun was shining on me. And I finished the race in 1:12. 8 miles in 1:12. Not too shabby for this old lady......imagine what the time would have been if you take out the dodging and jumping I had to do the first 2 miles. Feeling at peace today which has been a long time coming.