17 years!

Today marks the 17th-year anniversary of when my dad passed away. Crazy that I was only 18 when he died, and 17-years have passed. That means I have almost lived my life with him as much as without him. And man do we still miss him. Although so thankful to have had him in my life for 18 years, it still is so odd that Drew and our children have never met him. How much richer my children's lives would have been to have had him in it. Caleb asks lots of questions about him and they know a lot about him, but it's not even close to good enough. They would have really seen a love for the outdoors! Drew and I are very much outdoor type people and they have a love of it through us, but my dad was truly a "Colorado man". Things that I once thought were torturous growing up, I now do to my children. Seeing an overpass in the mountains used to strike fear in me at the age of 12 because I KNEW we were going to have to get out and take pictures. I am now that person that loves stopping at them and making everyone pose!!
Losing a parent is never easy....doesn't matter how old you are. I know I am part of who I am today because of the things my dad instilled in us as children. So bittersweet that he never got to see the person Pat and I have become, the spouses we married, and the children we are raising. I'm so very different than that hormonal 18 year-old that he last saw. So many things I look back and wish I had handled differently, and had the confidence to stand up for. So today is one of those days you look back on and wish for the things that you miss. Life goes on, and my life is certainly overflowing with blessings God has bestowed on me and my family. Unfortunately life doesn't always go the way we plan it, and it's what you do with your life when it changes paths that makes you who you are as a person. I am so thankful to have a brother that means the world to me, and who knew the man that I knew flaws and all. We all have flaws, and are loved and love inspite of those flaws. I always thought that it would get easier as these years go by...it doesn't...I still miss him just as much as I did 17-years ago. But the thought that our paths will cross again someday makes all this manageable. And if there is golf in heaven, I know he is up there playing with some wonderful friends that have joined him in the past 17 years.....
(Jeremiah 29:11)